This is Krissy’s story, told below, in her own words. This took tremendous courage for Krissy to write and share. I read this story and saw a young girl, trying to make sense of life after her parent’s divorce, and trying to find her own value, her own worth. She found all of that and more. Read on…
Source: You Left Me, I Stayed.
DISCLAIMER: This is MY story. I’ve been contemplating telling anyone this for the past 3 years. But I think it’s time to let people know that ANYTHING is possible. God delivers. Just come as you are. I have nothing against anyone in this story, I forgave them a long time ago. Now I’m finally forgiving myself.
April 2013, I had just turned 20 years old. I was already in debt. My mom wasn’t working, and recovering from a tough divorce. I was in cosmetology school full time, with a part time job at the mall making $7.50 an hour, for about 10 hours a week. I was broke. So one morning, I got up and said….I’m going to be a stripper. And I did just that. I went to a strip club auditioned, did my paperwork, and got some discount cards to give my friends. Once I started, it was all good. I was making the money I had always dreamed about making. I kept my job at the mall. So I was “happy” or maybe you could say I was content where I was. When the word had finally gotten out, my mom was embarrassed. So I never came home when she was there. I was always at someone else’s house. My attendance dropped at school. I was a mess. I didn’t think so. But I was. The feeling I felt the most, I was alone. I thought I was. So I met a guy through a mutual friend, and the same day I met him, was the same day I started living with him. Which was also the same day I told my family I was stripping. He took me in. Comforted me. Made me smile when I wanted to cry. He was my everything. So I started getting unsatisified with the money I was making in Memphis. But I was scared to leave at the same time. After I realized that I had nothing here for me, we packed up my little Versa and headed to Miami. He wanted to do music, I wanted to make a lot of money. I didn’t realize what I had got myself into. When I got there, everything was fine. We were in a condo with his family, and a close friend. His family believed in his music career, and so did I. So I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to support him. Because I thought I loved him. As the days went on, I started getting depressed. I wanted my own space. I wanted him to help me a little more. I wanted us to do us, like he said we were going to do. So instead of going to work one day, I found a place. I told him about it, he kinda hesitated at first, but he was down for it. We told his family, they flipped. It was almost like they had mind control over him because they were supporting his career financially and buying him weed so he could write. He was their property, which meant I had to comply to everything that they say. They got so mad, they were about to put me out on the street. That’s when something triggered in me; IM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! So I stopped going to the strip club all together. And I would act like I was going to work. I was really at the beach. One night, I was on the balcony writing in a journal and listening to gospel music and prayed for the first time in 3 months.I asked God with tears swelling in my eyes, why am I here? Why did you leave me? God answered back. Y’all. If anyone has ever heard his voice, it’s so sweet and calming. He told me, I never left you. You left me. That time you almost got attacked in the club your first night, guess who was in there with you?Me. When that club manager was trying to feel you up for $20, guess who stopped his hand? Me. By this time, I’m in tears and I couldn’t stop them from flowing.
Deuteronomy 31:6 says “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you or abandon you.” NLT Version.
I was always a Christian. I grew up in church. So I didn’t really know God until I got to this point. He was more of a routine for me. When he spoke to me that night, I knew it was the end. Of course me leaving didn’t happen without an argument. But it could have gone worse. I was so nervous to come back to God I was even scared. Because I knew I was mess. I thought I had to get myself together to come back to him. But…
Matthew 11:28Jesus said “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”
July 2013. I got my rest.
Read more from Krissy at www.whoiskrissycarmen.com
What is it you’re facing? Nobody goes into battle alone. We can stand with you. Let us know in the comments below how we can pray for you, or by submitting your story.
He will fight for you.